Terrible Jesus Simulator
The Rise of the Terrible Jesii - A Campaign Log
Falling from the sky, the Godbound surveyed own another and took note of the fact they were stranded in primordial wilderness. The environment was unfamiliar and thus for several days they wandered, lost, until they were beset by a group of boar-mutants who had tracked them into a box canyon.
The battle was fierce but the Godbound prevailed, sending the three hunters into a route and securing safe passage to the valley below. Once there they encountered the rural hamlet of CATALYN – devoid of both excitement and luxury. This little town became a home to them over the next month and a half as they grew accustomed to the new powers they had developed, and tales and rumors about the strange travelers were heard for miles around. The five were able to enjoy the finest things of these small valleys, but sadly, these were humble country pleasures like fresh pie or folksy bonfires which… while soothing enough for locals… proved inadequate for the Godbound.
Although the Godbound were comfortable in Catalyn for the time being, they aspired to greater luxury and coveted the technology of the strange city of Perdition. Therefore, when a helicopter sent from the northern reaches set down to repair local machinery, they hijacked the vehicle and directed it northward towards the mysterious ‘City of the Gods’.
Enroute the group was forced to refuel at an airbase, where they unleashed hell – throwing helicopters into buildings and forcing anti-air artillery to open up on base structures. Leaving ruin and chaos behind them, they hijacked yet another helicopter, kidnapping the pilot ‘Smork’ to guide them to Poros.
Once in Poros, low on fuel, the group landed the bird in an isolated field and covered it with underbrush. It was time to contemplate the next move…
‘The Stinky Hole’
Catching word of a local tomb uncovered by unfortunate sewer workers, the group set out to steal the treasures within. A large iron door proved to be a momentary obstacle before the true enemy… human feces… assaulted the senses of every invader. When the tomb was finally located at the bottom of a 120’ deep shaft, a rope ladder was deployed and the investigators discovered a sarcophogi chamber.
Opening the Sarcophogi brought a surprising discovery. A Night Road was concealed within the tomb, perhaps leading to some sort of literal afterlife. The group ventured inside and discovered a forked link, opting for the rightmost path.
There they discovered Badila, home of the Great Hairy Kings. Once within they were immediately beset by natives but made short work of them. The ‘Storm King’ which the lesser mutants worshiped was another matter entirely, however. Having consumed two Celestial Shards, the beast had grown into a behemoth, unable to be challenged by mortal arms.
The group camped for the evening before deciding upon a plan of attack. The battle was furious and brought many of the Godbound to the very brink of endurance, but in the end… owing to the Divine Wrath of the Doctor… the heroes survived. They tore the shards from the husk of the beast and retreated from the tomb back to the shelter of the hidden helicopter, to regroup and recover.
Having become somewhat comfortable in Poros, the Godblooded became more frequently seen within the social scene of the city. Dizze proved to be an irresistible lure to local socialites with his miraculous wealth, and the doctor and Awk also were often found observing and interacting with locals.
During these outings, the Doctor became aware of a vampiric presence within the city, and resolved to lure out the patriarch of the undead clan. By provoking a response from his brash child Reidon he was able to achieve these goal, speaking with the legendary Aldran as an equal and negotiating a tense peace.
This accomplished, the group set about exploring the remainder of the lost tomb they had discovered in the sewers of Poros. There, they discovered the remnants of a horrible necromantic ritual designed to turn the soul of an insubordinate vizier into an extra-dimensional portal. Happening upon his mummified wife and children, the Godbound destroyed them and claimed Celestial Shards from the ruin.
Returned to the helicopter, the Godbound turned to the urgent question of fuel. Rather than steal supplies from the heavily fortified Perdition airbase, it was decided they would employ exotic chemical techniques practiced by the Doctor to fashion a viable substitute. This worked better than expected, providing the chopper with enough fuel to easily last the journey to Perdition.
Still interested in scavenging Poros for Celestial Shards, the Godbound took it upon themselves to investigate the Empty Temples of the Old City. There, they encountered the ‘Moon Bull’, a monstrous godlike being who claimed the divinities depicted in the ancient ruins were in fact his handmaidens and servants.
The party came to blows with the creature and defeated it, salvaging celestial shards from the corpse without delay. Unfortunately, they were unable to determine the cause of the strange madness which afflicts the Old Temples still… although strangely, none of them succumbed to the infamous malady.
Finally making the journey to Perdition, the Godbound discovered a culture in the thrall of mysterious ‘demigods’ who demanded no worship. Fascinated with the possibility of speaking to such beings they eventually arranged an introduction, finding instead of divinity a race of highly-advanced extra dimensional slug traders calling themselves the ‘Tapka’.
These beings had an understanding of the multidimensional fractures that litter most realities have how to travel them. The Godbound and the Tapka came to an understanding – they would investigate Night Roads which were deemed too dangerous to otherwise exploit, asking in payment only whatever Celestial Shards could be reclaimed. Since the Tapka viewed these fragments as unlucky and undesirable, it was a profitable arrangement for both parties.
The first such Night Road dropped the Godbound behind a time-activated Seal, forcing them to spend a week in a new world with horrors beyond imagination.
Stranded in the horrible dimension known as ‘Earth’, the Godbound determined they were housed in a strange underground city once populated by lizard-like humanoids. Confronted by the inhabitants of the metropolis Los Angeles above, they were brought into the company of shadowy occult researchers hoping to better understand the nature of the ruins they emerged from.
Introduced to Terrance Barlow, the Godbound became aware of the cursed nature of this Dimension – a dark and hungry God lurked within the core of this world, birthing souls by accident and sustaining a dark ecology unsympathetic of human concerns. Those who served these Gods found great power and influence, and among them was the leader of a world-wide cult. This man employed a complicated theology involving extra-terrestrials to harness the resources required to investigate these dark truths.
The Godbound sought to understand these occult mysteries and master them, and to that end they were directed to obtain a Red Journal… a grimoire of forbidden lore that would educate and empower the wanderers. To achieve this end, the Godbound assaulted the vault of the cult, meeting the Eldritch leader of the group in open combat before contemplating descending into the below…
… within, they found numerous defenses and multiple heavily armed teams of soldiers. Kargath twisted the minds of those within the Vault to perceive the invaders as friends and allies, and thus usurped control of most of the living guards. Meanwhile, the Doctor ensured that the automated defenses were subverted. Casualties were kept to a minimum as the Godbound took advantage of these abilities to disarm and confuse the mortals who originally intended to slay them.
Though the Vault seemed to be nothing more than a repository of not-unexpected religious material, the Godbound knew better from conversations with Barlowe and searched until they located hidden chambers beneath the site. There, they located the High Priests of the cult, notable celebrities who had trained underneath the leader in the dark arts. The battle was fierce, but ultimately, the Godbound prevailed, driving one of the high priests deep into the caverns below.
The vault secured, the group deliberated on how to proceed…
Meanwhile, the Doctor and Hilros journeyed to the surface to investigate the strange burning sensation that Hilros experienced after his intimate encounter with an Elemental creature of Fire. While outside, they were accosted by a mysterious being who impersonated the Wealth Wizard Dizze and tried to ply them for information. Confronting him, they discovered he also claimed to have divine power. The stranger offered to show the Godbound how to harvest shards at will.
When the Doctor and Hilros investigated his claims, they discovered a fallen Celestial Engine ensconced in a fortified location. Under the careful instruction of the stranger they destroyed it to claim a Celestial Shard before returning to find that nothing in the near area can now die. Whoops!
SESSION 9 – 10
Having witnessed the consequences of his vandalism, the Doctor quickly repaired the engine and observed the horrific changes he had made reversing themselves. The mysterious stranger returned with a companion and spoke of another plane, a mirror to this one yet inaccessible to mortals, with abundant shards for the taking. Promising to take the Godbound to this mythical place later, they departed.
In the meantime the Godbound took advantage of Barlowe’s resources to mount a clandestine attempt to investigate the Dulce base referenced in the Red Journal. There, they found a mysterious government installation… long ago abandoned to reptile insurgents… which contained a number of valuable Celestial Shards, relics from an exploratory mission into the depths long ago.
Mirroring this journey themselves, the Godbound found themselves in conflict with an Uncreated Horror, a predator who had gathered several of these shards itself. They defeated the beast with ease and claimed it’s treasures for themselves.
Journeying deeper in the caverns underneath the Dulce Base, the Godbound discovered the Hollow Earth. There they spoke with a group of primitive humans who described a hostile environment full of alien dangers, including a nefarious ‘Pink Lord’ who resembled the Dero of Amazing Stories fame. Hearing tell of Celestial Shards located in the company of the Grays, the Godbound made an assault before being repelled by a security team. The raid was not without benefit, however – the Godbound reclaimed a Flying Disk from the ruins and now have full control of it.
Disgusted by the plague of the Inner Earth known as the ‘Vermin’, the Godbound endeavored to wipe the race from the face of the Realm. Within a week they had succeeded, obliterating the impenetrable hive nexus of the Vermin and employing strange magic to eradicate the seed plague that gave birth to them.
Setting sights upon the citadel of the Pink Lord, who had created these abominations, the Godbound made ready to visit war upon the Dero King. His defenses were impressive, consisting and the surviving Vermin and a miraculous Orb which absorbed the power of the Godbound and turned it against themselves. They defeated all these menaces in turn.
The Pink Lord returned into his fortress, and the Godbound made siege.
The Pink Lord was finally defeated in a climactic battle that taxed the party to the limits of their ability. Refining his body, Awk and the Doctor were able to claim the City Seed. The defeat of the Pink Lord brought supplicants from around the Inner Earth to investigate, including a visitor from the Empire of Thule.
Curious at to the nature of Miryama and the origin of the Celestial Shards, the Godbound set forward the most ambitious plans they had constructed yet – to penetrate the interior Sun of the Hollow Earth and lay waste to whatever menaces faces them.
At the threshold of the corona of the Inner Sun, they were confronted by an Angelic Guardian. Using his abilities of Knowledge the Doctor deduced the true nature of the angels intentions and thus the party struck her down, formally declaring war on Naberius, the Mysterious Stranger.
The halls of Miryama proved to be a fleshy hell, filled with Greater Gods who had little sympathy for the cares or desires of men and more resembled mindless beasts than august divinities. The Godbound brought ‘peace’ to many of them before proceeded to the inner chambers of the architects of this horror… the angelic host led by the Angel Metatron. Sparing the God Wicerion (for now), the Godbound prepared to attack the Godmaker…
After a brief congress with Wycerion, the Godbound assaulted the hellmouth and cast Metatron into the lower depths of Hell once more. Having claimed the body of Miryama completely, they made plans to enable its restoration. The extensive nature of these repairs requires either the resources of a large nation state or the power of archdivinity, and while the former remains out of reach the latter is perhaps attainable. The Godbound became aware of the Night Road that leads the core engine of this layer of the Onion Earth, and even now consider moving to claim it…
… but for the time being, diplomatic contacts with the inhabitants of the Hollow Earth occupy attention. The aristocracy of Thule entertains the Godbound while trying to ascertain more about the origins of the group and the limits of its power.
The aristocracy of Thule implored the Godbound for help in resolving delicate situations involving the One True Catholic Church. The Godbound lent aid with force, resolving the crisis and recovering a ‘holy relic’, the Holy Dish. When the figurehead ruler of the fourth Reich fell, Awk restored her back to life. In the face of such overwhelming influence, Facts and Problems within Thule are beginning to change…
Menacing powers turn eyes to the 3rd Earth as the Pink Lord’s wards falter. One of these, the Flenser Heiron, has already made itself known. When the Godbound pursued the strange entity it retreated to another Realm, sacrificing a subordinate to placate the pursuers.
Returning to the surface, the Godbound discovered that the united states government had made prepared for them to arrive. In negotiation with a mysterious occultist they absconded to investigate the island site contained within Metatron’s amulet alone. Once there, they discovered many interdimensional parasites… but they also discovered the corrosive Night Road burned straight through the Realm and settled into a new location.
The Heaven Shard which was revealed by the night road turned out to be a ship becalmed in sea or sky forever, with an Eldritch keeper known as the ‘High Teacher’ lording over a slave race of Harg. The Godbound took this vessel for their own and claimed the central engine of the Earth Shard.
After having done so, investigations into a sidelong heaven shard adjacent to the vessel revealed a reality of undead elf-things linked into a hive mind. Losing interest in this, the Godbound instead focused on the rogue actor who had eluded them months ago, tracking him down to a secure bunker and using supernatural power to ambush him. He was slain.